Follow this blog
  A Tale of 2 Boobies
  • Home
  • About Me
  • Breast Cancer
  • Skin Cancer
  • My Travels

40 Going on 90

4/22/2014

0 Comments

 
Picture
This is unbelievably frustrating.  I am 2 days away from my 7th chemotherapy treatment and my body has just about physically shut down.  My brain has some great ideas, like cleaning out the Tupperware drawer or even just getting up to do the dishes, but my body is absolutely fresh out of juice.  I think I would rather be physically sick than stuck in this place this is so emotionally taxing.  At least there would be an obvious reason for my lack of energy.

I do understand what the doctors have told me, that I will be more and more fatigued with each treatment, and I should not exert too much energy because I could easily over do it.  But I really have to say that I have never felt this way before.  My house is a mess!  It needs to be dusted.  The laundry needs to be done.  The dishes are piled up.  The fridge needs to be cleaned out.  My plants are all dying because I can’t take care of them. The patio furniture should be set back in place, though that can wait – around here, you just never know if the snow is really gone for the season.

Emotionally, not being able to even do the house chores is just really bad… really bad.  I have had plenty of days (previous to cancer) where I just don’t feel like doing much and don’t have the energy to clean the house.  This is different.  I truly feel like a 90 year-old woman.  And I feel like I look like a 90 yr-old woman, which doesn’t help my mental state.  I never anticipated that ‘how I look’ would matter at all, but it really does.  It makes me not want to leave the house.    I have gained a ton of weight because of the steroids they pump me with during the chemo treatments.  But if I don’t have the energy to get up and do the dishes, do you really think I am going to make my way to the gym?  Ummm NOPE!

All of this treatment is meant to improve my quality of life, and I know I have said this before but what about my CURRENT quality of life?  Maybe this is yet another day where I am meant to practice patience since I wasn’t born with any.


Picture
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Picture
    Picture
    Been There Survived That

    CANCER RESOURCES

    CANCER CALENDAR

    RSS Feed

    POSTS IN ORDER

    All
    001 Feeling A Lump
    002 Biopsy
    003 - Get Organized
    004 Google Before Surgery
    005 Fear Before Surgery
    006 Fundraisers
    007 Photos For You
    008 Hospital Packing List
    009 Mastectomy Surgery
    010 Pain Management
    011 Drains
    012 After Surgery
    013 Girl With Cancer
    014 Chemo Port Surgery
    015 Breast Cancer Benefit
    016 AC Chemo
    017 Hair Loss
    018 3rd Chemo
    019-wig-or-not
    020-chemo-depression
    021-chemo-walker
    022-taxol-anxiety
    023-silent-warrior
    024-health-insurance
    025 Chemo Long Process
    026 Chemo Products
    027 Pamper Yourself
    028 40 Going On 90
    029 Walk With Me
    030 Last Chemo
    031 Expanders Went Flat
    032 Hudson River
    033 My Tractor
    034 Hair Grows
    035 Exchange Surgery
    036 Port Removal
    037 Heaven Can Wait
    038 CureDiva
    039 Radiation Mapping
    040 First Radiation
    041 Radiation #8
    042 Radiation Bell
    043 Radiation Fatigue
    044 New Normal
    045 Radiation #27
    046 Radiation Ends
    047 Last Radiation
    048 Radiation Burns
    049 Final Rad Burn
    050-be-real
    051-ptsd
    052 Weight Gain
    053 MRI Brain
    054 Dear Cancer
    055 CNY Walk
    056 Golf Benefit
    057 Tamoxifen
    058 All About Cancer
    059 Awareness Month
    060 WhatGivesMeStrength
    061 Tamoxifen & Hair
    062 Hair Obsessed
    063 - Cording
    064 Hair Growth
    065 Cancerversary
    066 Connecting With Cancer
    067 Reflecting
    068 Scanxiety
    069 Survivors Guilt
    070 Cancer Photos
    071 Tamoxifen Again
    072 Basket Deliveries
    074 Group Therapy
    075 Capsular Contracture
    076 Reconstruction Repair
    077 Implant Surgery Photos
    078 Magazine Cover
    2014 CNY Events
    2015 Events
    2016 CALENDARS
    2016 Events
    5 Years Later
    BadassBBQ
    Before After Photos
    BOOK OneYearWithCancer
    BOOK - OneYearWithCancer
    CANCER FACTS
    CANCER SONGS
    Chemo Jokes
    CNY Cancer Book
    CNY Resources
    Early Detection
    General Blogs
    Heart Card Campaign
    Inspiration
    Komen 3Day
    New Normal
    Radiation
    Radio Interview 2015
    Reduce Stress
    Statistics
    Tamoxifen

I prefer not to be defined by cancer, but my life has certainly changed because of it.
Today, the simplicity of life and small moments of joy is what drives me.
Thanks for following my journey!