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Losing your hair during chemo

2/26/2014

14 Comments

 
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So if you read my last post, you know that my hair began to fall out in clumps on day #15 after my first chemo treatment.  I receive the 'dose dense', meaning I get my chemo every 2 weeks, so it was the day after my 2nd treatment that really began killing my hair follicles... and other things.

Physically, my head hurts, burns, itches and is only comfortable without hats but then I am terribly cold.  It doesn't help that its winter and only 16 degrees outside this week.  The flip side would be having to wear a hat during the summer months so my head doesn't get sunburned.  Not sure which is worse. 

Other physical symptoms after the 2nd round of chemo are: extremely dry skin, mouth sores, constipation, stomach ache for over a week this time, anxious but fatigued at the same time (don't ask me how that works), and nausea that was worse than the first time around.  But once again, today as I write this, it is the day before my 3rd chemo treatment and I am feeling almost like myself again - and completely dreading having to go tomorrow because I know how I will feel.  Good news?  3 down, 5 to go!

Emotionally, I STILL ask myself every day if this is really happening.  I scare myself when I look in the mirror and wonder who is staring back at me.  I like hair.  I just like hair.  Not a huge fan of being stared at while eating out, but yes it happens.  I realize people are just curious and probably just wondering what my story is, but it is still uncomfortable when everyone in the restaurant turns their head as you walk in the door.

I feel like people expect me to 'look' sick.  I don't think there is one person I have seen who has not said to me "you don't even look sick".  Well, being bald, I certainly look different, and I am thankful that I don't look sick... but the people just do not understand what this treatment entails.  It isn't that 'cancer' makes you look sick.  You can't see cancer.  It is all the small but very significant side effects of the treatment to remove the cancer that makes ME sick.  Emotionally sick more than anything else. 

The only thing I can be extremely thankful for at this moment, is that it is winter and I get to wear a winter hat on my head, which makes me a tad bit less noticeable than if it were summer and I wore one.


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14 Comments
Kim Kehoe
2/26/2014 03:14:07 am

You sure do look pretty though <3 :)

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Shelly
2/26/2014 03:43:51 am

You are too good to me! xo

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Debbie Reed
2/26/2014 03:46:37 am

You are such a beautiful warrior and are fighting such a good fight. Shelly im so proud of you and want to thank you for finding the strength to fight. Not only because your a great friend, a second mom to my daughter, a wonderful mom and daughter but you are such a loving heart and beautiful soul who has so much to offer those you not only know but those youve not yet encountered. I love you ♥.

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Shelly
2/26/2014 03:54:39 am

Thank you so much for all your wonderful support Debbie! I love you - you are family!

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DEBBIE MORRIS
2/26/2014 03:49:56 am

Shelly you are beautiful even with no hair, inside & out. <3

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Shelly
2/26/2014 03:55:56 am

Debbie - my girl of fire - thank you for being my friend! YOU are beautiful as well!

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Bernadette Maher
2/26/2014 09:26:22 am

Shell~

It's not the hair that makes a woman or the boobees!!! It is the heart that God gave you to share with all of us that makes you the fabulous woman you have become. Soooooo many people love you and pray for you to have comfort through all you are enduring today. I believe that God puts different people in our lives for a reason. I must say that I am tickled PINK that he put you in mine. To teach ME strength and courage through you. I love you beyond the moon and stars!! I will be moving back at the end of April but coming for a visit March 28th - April 6th. I would love to try and see you if you are up to it. Be strong and be a Bitch!! Love you, Berni

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Shelly
2/26/2014 10:59:37 am

Berni I would love to catch up! Love you my friend! xo

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Jersey Sue
2/26/2014 10:00:49 am

Shelly! I have to say you look stunning without hair! workkkkk it!

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Shelly
2/26/2014 11:00:38 am

Jersey girl - you always make me smile! Hugs and kisses!! xo

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Kami Cheney
2/27/2014 02:11:25 am

Still beautiful with no hair. I admire your strength. Wonderful support surrounds you:)

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Julie Brooks
2/27/2014 05:19:01 am

You are like a Timex watch; remember those old commericals? They take a licking and keep on ticking!

You are such an inspiration to so many people. I think of you often and pray that you are healing inside and out.

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Kathy McLaughlin
2/27/2014 10:20:39 pm

How is it possible that you look more beautiful without hair?!?! You are an inspiration to all of us!! xoxoxo

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Kathy Sheaks
2/28/2014 01:46:47 am

I agree with Kathy McLaughlin. Truly gorgeous. (inside & out) Big (virtual) hug !!

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