It has been 27 days since my last chemo and the good news is that my hair is growing back - and only on my head... I have not yet had to begin shaving my legs - or anything else for that matter. The bad news is that the hair on my head is fuzzy and white. I have been told that this will change but for now I must keep a bandana on my head because the double takes from strangers are out of control! Even my girlfriend wondered what was going on when we went to the store and everyone just stared. Oh, and today is the 2nd time I have been called 'Sir'.
I have ALWAYS been a very girly girl. I don't think a day went by in almost 30 years that I went without mascara on my eyes. Today, at 40 years old, I feel so WRONG! Just wrong. I don't know who that person is in the mirror. I don't prefer to look at her. In the 4 months of chemo treatment, I have gained 33 lbs, lost all my hair, lost my eyelashes, and lost my eyebrows. I have not been able to wear my diamond rings because of my swolen hands. I don't wear necklaces anymore because I don't want to bring attention to my chest. I only wear my the chain necklace that my girlfriend gave me. I don't feel feminine. I don't feel like a girl. Had a hysterectomy in 2010 and mastectomy in 2013... am I still female?
No bling. No makeup. No hair. No girl parts. And a VERY full figure.
And my family wonders why I don't like to leave the house.