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Scanxiety Fear Is Totally Real

1/16/2015

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Is it possible to have scanxiety even though you aren't having a scan?  Yes.  I had my follow up appointment today with both the mastectomy doctor and the reconstruction doctor.  Today is Friday and I haven't slept a wink all week.  I have had nightmares every night.  My fear is that they tell me I have skin cancer. 

If you are wondering why I chose skin cancer to be fearful of, it's because I have had these strange rash type itchy patches on my legs for a few weeks now and they don't go away with anti-fungal cream or cortizone cream or any of the dry skin creams I used during chemo when my skin was at its worst...or so I thought.  I never had these strange patches of skin irritation during chemo.

Both doctors came in on separate occasions, looked at the rash and said there is a possibility of basal cell which is a type of skin cancer. Tammy, who is my nurse practitioner said it's ringworm.  So, I will continue to use the cream and if no improvement in one month, they will biopsy the area. 

What I was hoping for from the doctors was a clear statement that without a doubt it was just a skin rash that will clear up.  But instead, I got a wishy washy maybe its this or that. In my mind, fears are validated. BUT, I will believe that its just ringworm, a bacterial fungus type thing that goes away with the use of the cream.

I do have good news...  I lost another 10 lbs!  I now weigh less than I did when I was first diagnosed back in October 2013!  Over 10 lbs less! 

Now to find a way to sleep without worry for the next 30 days...

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