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The Radiation Burns and Healing Process

9/3/2014

7 Comments

 
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It's been 15 days since my final radiation treatment.  I have very mixed emotions, both mentally and physically right now.  I am thrilled to have completed the last leg of my invasive treatments against breast cancer, and I am also grateful not to have to make that daily drive into the city for appointments.  But I struggle emotionally with the "what now?" question.  10 months ago, I was told I had cancer and of course in my mind, I heard "you are going to die." 

Well, I didn't.  I survived. 

I know I've said this before, but the things that once mattered, now seem so unimportant and vice versa.  I've slowed down, ALOT. I take joy in the simple things. But where does that leave someone who was once only content running in high speed and in manic mode? I now spend my days trying to find purpose. 

Physically, my energy level is coming back and that's certainly a plus.  The radiation burns got worse before getting better and the dead skin is now beginning to peel off.  So, again, there are pros and cons to my current physical situation.  Which is essentially really great!  What if there were no pros?!

My recent trip to the annual Great New York State Fair was almost unbearable.  Between the hot flashes in 90 degree weather, the skin on skin rubbing under my arm where the radiation burns are, and the joint pain that persists as a result of the chemotherapy, I was in rough shape.  The good news is that this year there was no need to pull my hair into a hair-tie... #blessedtobebald in this heat!

The next leg of my treatment plan is to take the estrogen blocking drug, Tamoxifen for the next 10 years.  I started taking it the day after radiation and have yet to notice any major side effects.  There is hope that I will be one of the lucky ones and the symptoms of this drug will be mild.  There is also a chance that the side effects won't kick in until around 3-4 weeks.  We shall see.

7 Comments
susan sue
9/3/2014 08:37:51 am

The burns will heal eventually... but the fear is always behind the scar.in your head..but even that get s little less scary and you stay positive like you are ..and always look for tomorrow...you are a cancer warrior ....praying for you

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Shelly
9/14/2014 04:46:41 am

Thank you so much for all your support!! Xo

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Diane
9/3/2014 09:00:27 am

I am glad to here everyday for you is getting better. I cant even imagine the pain you went through. You must be a very special person to be so strongand to fight so hard!

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Shelly
9/14/2014 04:50:59 am

Thank you Diane for sharing in my journey. I stay strong because of the energy of people such as yourself who take time to support me! Xo

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Kim link
9/3/2014 09:16:28 am

Purpose...I struggle with "purpose" alot! Once I thought it was found and it was trounced. That said, savor every day and enjoy the little things and be family. That's not a bad purpose!

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Carrie
9/3/2014 10:36:05 am

Shelly,

You say that you were used to running on manic mode as was I for what seemed like forever and although our circumstances so different in many ways...they are the same in some. I once asked my brother while I was in the hospital...."How can I be expected to be Eoyore when I've always been Tigger?" He said..."You need to find some place in between the two that work for you now." So that is my advice for you...find the Shelly that you are physically comfortable with for now and then as you begin to feel stronger...go from there. You beat cancers A$$....many do not have the strength that you have shown throughout the past year. You excel at everything that you put your mind to...you always have. Right now is Shelly time...do what makes you happy.....nothing else matters.

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Bernadette Maher
9/3/2014 10:56:07 am

Dear Shelley, As I read this I feel so bad for not staying in touch. Being back in ny has definitely not gone as planned. The "manic" Shelley I knew is still the strongest, most beautiful and determined woman I have ever had the pleasure of crossing paths with. You are in my prayers everyday. I wish I had your strength. I love you and Lucia so very much.

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I prefer not to be defined by cancer, but my life has certainly changed because of it.
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