It's been 15 days since my final radiation treatment. I have very mixed emotions, both mentally and physically right now. I am thrilled to have completed the last leg of my invasive treatments against breast cancer, and I am also grateful not to have to make that daily drive into the city for appointments. But I struggle emotionally with the "what now?" question. 10 months ago, I was told I had cancer and of course in my mind, I heard "you are going to die."
Well, I didn't. I survived.
I know I've said this before, but the things that once mattered, now seem so unimportant and vice versa. I've slowed down, ALOT. I take joy in the simple things. But where does that leave someone who was once only content running in high speed and in manic mode? I now spend my days trying to find purpose.
Physically, my energy level is coming back and that's certainly a plus. The radiation burns got worse before getting better and the dead skin is now beginning to peel off. So, again, there are pros and cons to my current physical situation. Which is essentially really great! What if there were no pros?!
My recent trip to the annual Great New York State Fair was almost unbearable. Between the hot flashes in 90 degree weather, the skin on skin rubbing under my arm where the radiation burns are, and the joint pain that persists as a result of the chemotherapy, I was in rough shape. The good news is that this year there was no need to pull my hair into a hair-tie... #blessedtobebald in this heat!
The next leg of my treatment plan is to take the estrogen blocking drug, Tamoxifen for the next 10 years. I started taking it the day after radiation and have yet to notice any major side effects. There is hope that I will be one of the lucky ones and the symptoms of this drug will be mild. There is also a chance that the side effects won't kick in until around 3-4 weeks. We shall see.
Well, I didn't. I survived.
I know I've said this before, but the things that once mattered, now seem so unimportant and vice versa. I've slowed down, ALOT. I take joy in the simple things. But where does that leave someone who was once only content running in high speed and in manic mode? I now spend my days trying to find purpose.
Physically, my energy level is coming back and that's certainly a plus. The radiation burns got worse before getting better and the dead skin is now beginning to peel off. So, again, there are pros and cons to my current physical situation. Which is essentially really great! What if there were no pros?!
My recent trip to the annual Great New York State Fair was almost unbearable. Between the hot flashes in 90 degree weather, the skin on skin rubbing under my arm where the radiation burns are, and the joint pain that persists as a result of the chemotherapy, I was in rough shape. The good news is that this year there was no need to pull my hair into a hair-tie... #blessedtobebald in this heat!
The next leg of my treatment plan is to take the estrogen blocking drug, Tamoxifen for the next 10 years. I started taking it the day after radiation and have yet to notice any major side effects. There is hope that I will be one of the lucky ones and the symptoms of this drug will be mild. There is also a chance that the side effects won't kick in until around 3-4 weeks. We shall see.
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